Don't Miss Me Until I'm Gone
by WillofThePsycho
Summary: Accidents happen, but some more detrimental than others. And questions arise that Mello never thought he'd have to answer. -AU fic, MattxMello, T for some violence and language-
1. His Amnesia

_**Chapter One**_

_**His Amnesia**_

Soft green eyes slowly fluttered open and stared at the unfamiliar ceiling above him. Okay, that was lie. That ceiling was very familiar, for he'd been to the hospital plenty of times before. But he'd never been in this specific room.

He heard the sound of a heart monitor in the corner, making the mechanical 'blip' every second or so. He could hear other machines around him too, some having stranger sounds than others.

It was then that he realized that one of the sounds was coming from a tank by the bed, which had a hose leading to a plastic mask over his nose and mouth. An oxygen mask. _Why…? _He asked himself silently, tugging at the apparatus.

He was able to get it around his neck as he sat up slowly. Every muscle protested against his movement, especially the ones in his abdomen area, but he ignored the pain. All that mattered to him at the moment was finding out why he was in the hospital, for he seemed to have no recollection of the events beforehand.

As the redhead sat up, the room lurched violently and he put his head in his hands, shaking it slightly. The room never did quite settle totally, but it was just enough so that he could look around.

He was in one of the ICU rooms, one of the big, white, almost spacious rooms with a window on both sides; one looking out to the world outside and one to the waiting-type area. Right now, the shades were drawn on both, making the room very dark, though that fact helped with his increasing headache and dizziness. _Maybe you should lie down again, _a voice in the back of his mind told him, but he ignored that also. Though he let out a small whimper of distress as more soreness and pain coursed through his body. Anyone who had heard said noise would've probably automatically felt bad for you young child.

The boy then began to take various needles and wires out off and/or out of him so he could get up. More muscle protests, more voice naggings, and more mechanical noises (also of protest), but all went ignored. He didn't care what he was doing; all he wanted to do was find out what in the world was going on. But he found it hard to concentrate, what with all the beeping and monotonous tones drowning out any other noise in his room. _Why must they be so obnoxious…?_

Suddenly, doctors and nurses came rushing into the room and tried to push him back onto the mattress, but he fought against them. He thrashed his arms and body about so he could escape their grip, but this just made them try harder. The boy began to whine and yell at them for going against him, for he claimed that all he wanted to do was "get up and look around."

But the doctors wouldn't hear it. They kept forcing him down, but he wouldn't have it. He was now yelling and screaming at them to let go. "Lemme go! Stop it! That hurts!" he shouted at them. He was able to yank one arm free, but "accidently" sent it flying at one of the doctors holding him down. It caught the man square in the nose, making it start to bleed.

At the sudden motion, a large pain erupted in his side. He cried out, and then looked down to find a patch of red starting to overtake the right side of his hospital nightgown. "He's destroyed his stitches!" one nurse yelled frantically. "It shouldn't be seeping through that bandage!"

But the last bit of the woman's sentence was slurred to the boy, for unconsciousness had started to claim him again. And to make matters worse, one nurse had decided it would be best to inject something strange in to the boy. He looked down at the crook of his elbow where the needle was inserted into his arm and watched her pull it out slowly. Instantly, the room did a huge one-eighty. His limbs went limp and he was pushed back into the mattress of the bed, then pain slowly ebbing away (for now, at least). But he fought to stay conscious, wanting to get some answers.

Just as his last bit of conscious thought was draining from him, another boy bounded into the room, looking panicked and fretful. "What's happening to him?" the redhead could see the other boy's lips form words, but could barely hear them.

This boy struck the ailing boy as odd. He was relatively short with cropped blonde hair and a pale complexion. He wore strange clothes also: all black, tight pants, chains hanging from his belt loops, and a sweatshirt with skulls and cross-bones on it. _What peculiar fashion sense,_ the green eyed boy would've thought if he was still capable of coherence.

Another thing that the redhead would've found weird was the obvious chocolate bar wrapper sticking out from his front pants pocket. The silver foil was torn open as if someone had done it with shaking hands, and only about half was eaten, as if the eater hadn't had much of an appetite. In truth, it wasn't that odd of a sight; a young boy with a chocolate bar. But it was odd that said boy wouldn't finish the treat, given who he was. And of course, if the redhead could remember who the boy was, he would note it and quickly brush off the topic, maybe even let the unconscious claim him, since it was trying oh-so hard to do so. But unfortunately, he was having a smidge of trouble with his memory at the moment and the question was nagging at him quite a bit. Of course, he hadn't much time to contemplate it, since only a few seconds had passed since the boy entered the room.

So the new blonde boy ran to the bedside and took up the other boy's hand, hugging it close to his own chest. He was mouthing one word and one word only: "Matt. Matt. Matt!"

_Matt? Matt? Is that my name? Is that who I am? Am I this Matt person that this boy seems so concerned with? _The redhead thought as he drifted away. _Why can't I remember? I knew only minutes ago. Now it's gone. Is something wrong with me….?_

Soft green eyes slowly fluttered closed as unconsciousness claimed the poor boy. Though he was quite happy to be sleeping now, actually, for that meant he could finally escape the mysterious pains and aches, whose cause was yet another thing that seemed to elude him in this now big empty space he called his mind.


	2. His Guilt

_**Chapter Two**_

_**His Guilt**_

_What... What was that look in his eyes...?_

_Did it not recognize me...?_

Thoughts like this and the like plagued the blonde's mind as he sat quite uncomfortably in the semi-cushion-y chairs located in the ICU hallway. He'd been there for what seemed like ever, but, in reality... Had actually been all night (but still, not an eternity). And in that time, his legs never ceased bouncing and his mind, running.

_ Calm down, Mello, maybe it's just all the drugs they got him hopped up on. Maybe the crash just fogged up his memory. I'm sure as soon as he wakes up normally, he'll see you right away and give you a big hug... Of course he will... _

But none of these thoughts could seem to actually make it out of the 'hopeful thinking' stage in his brain. Mello then slumped in his seat and let out a long sigh of sadness. He'd been there for almost eleven hours, without a single wink of sleep or a tiny ounce of food or drink. But he wasn't thirsty, or hungry, or tired; not even close. All he wanted to do was sit next to his friend (well, more than that really, but neither will admit it), and wait.

Now, this boy isn't the most patient person in the world, but for Matt, he'd wait until the end of time.

And Matt knows this. _If only he could remember who he _was...

Mello gazed lazily at the ceiling and, for the billionth time, wondered how many little brown dots were on each white panel. It seemed to be the only thought that was capable of distracting him for moments at a time, however bizarre that may be.

But the thought of brown spots never lingered long, because his thoughts strayed back to the events of the night before; the events of eleven hours ago; the events that had this blonde on the brink of insanity.

_Dammit, Mello, why... why did you do something so completely and utterly stupid..._

**Eleven Hours Ago**

**Aka: 6 P.M.**

"Liar!" an annoying red head shouted.

The one whom was being yelled at rolled his eyes. "Right. Because you can hold your breath for over three minutes. Because you won't _pass out_ beforehand."

"I won't!" the first countered lamely. "C'mon, Mello, I mean, look at me." he gestured to himself. "I'd never lose a breath holding contest. These lungs were made for breathing!"

At this, the blonde couldn't help but laugh in a condescending manner. "All lungs were meant for breathing, Matt."

"Yeah, well, mine are special," Matt muttered, feeling a bit defeated. He plopped down on the old, tan couch, then stared at the floor of the apartment they both shared. He clenched and unclenched his toes in the shaggy carpet that had seen many stains, and laid his arms across the back of the couch that had seen even moreadventures.

Mello eyed him, his gaze raking up and down the boy. A sudden smile appeared on his lips as he said, "How about this: I'll make you a deal."

The red head was sure not to make any sudden moves of eagerness, but he did respond with, "I'm listening."

"If you can hold your breath for three minutes without passing out or giving up, you owe me... Six king size chocolate bars. Two for each minute." Mello was completely and utterly positive he'd get his prize, so he set the bar high.

Matt sat there for a moment, contemplating his options. On one hand, he could- _ah, to hell with it. I'm doing it, _he thought in the most cocky manner possible. "You got yourself a deal," he replied, the corner of his mouth turning upwards. "But there ain't no way you're getting that chocolate."

The other masked his equally confident smile with a simple glare. "We'll see about that."

**Two and a half minutes later**

_Damn, he's going a lot longer than I thought he could, _Mello thought as he watched the seconds tick by on the wall clock. He turned his gaze back to his roommate, who was becoming a lobster in the face. It was entirely red, and his eyes were bugging out of his head. The blonde was sure the other was just trying to scare him by looking like he was about to give in and/or die, so Mello didn't let himself be worried.

"Twenty more seconds," he said in a calm tone. But, no sooner had he gotten the words past his lips, Matt released an explosion of air from his mouth. He was quick to suck up more, then began panting like a dog who'd been left in the sun an hour too long. "Dammit, Mello!" he shouted in frustration of the loss.

The winner tried to keep the triumphant smile from creeping across his face. He leaned back against the dusty, tan couch and decided on a smug grin. "I win," he boasted. "So suck it up and buy me chocolate."

Matt huffed, but whether it be from annoyance or the fact that he was still quite out of breath, Mello had no clue. "Yeah, yeah, I'll go buy your damn prize..." he muttered in a sore loser type of manner. But when he stood up to leave, Matt swayed with dizziness.

Mello grabbed onto the red head's arm to steady him, with only some success. "Hey, are you okay? You don't have to get my winnings yet, y'know. Sit and wait until your brain gets the right amount of oxygen again."

But the uneasy boy shoots him a glare, as if to say _you already won once, I'm not letting you get this victory over me, too. _"I'm fine," he muttered and yanked his arm away.

Mello returned the icy stare, but with more of a _stop being such a prick _tone. "Whatever, do what you want. I don't care as long as you get me that damn chocolate."

"God damn it, Mello, I'm going!" Matt shot back as he slipped on his fluffy vest. As he reached the front door, his hand missed the knob a few times, almost as if he were just a tad tipsy. "Be back... Later."

The blonde knew this meant he was going to the park afterwards to have some alone time and smoke. Mello didn't really care though, since he'd been doing it more and more often. But this time, he wasn't so sure if the other should be by himself for that long, given his current condition. But rather than seem like some big sissy, he decided to keep quiet as Matt exited the apartment. As soon as he heard the car pull out of the drive way, he muttered, "You're going to kill yourself with that headstrong attitude of yours one day, Matt."

Sadly, he didn't know how right he was.

Mello waited around the house for about two hours, keeping himself busy as he anticipated his prize. But as the clock struck eight, his suspicions started to raise. _He's never been out this long on a cocoa run, even if he does decide to stop for a cancer stick or two, _the blonde thinks to himself as he watches the seconds tick by. _Oh don't worry yourself, he's probably just trying to scare you so when he _does _walk through that door, he can see your face all flustered and red. _Matt's words, not his own.

And just then, as soon as his thought is finished, a knock sounds on the door. "S'open!" he calls, figuring it's someone coming to visit, or Matt finally home. _Wait... I don't know anyone that actually _knocks. Mello rose from his position as a couch potato, fixed his leather skinnys, and strolled to the front entrance. But as he glanced through the peep-hole, his heart seized up in his throat. "O-officer?" he stammered nervously as he opened the door.

"Are you Mihael Kheel?" the man in blue and black asks, referring to a note pad (and butchering his name).

All Mello can do is nod.

"I'm afraid there's been an accident, one involving a Mail Jeevas," he stated, so calmly that the stunned blonde wanted to strangle him. "Do you know him?"

Mello nods again, his head feeling too light and airy. "He's my, um.. Roommate..."

And thus his night went downhill from there.

So now he sits in the hallway of a hospital, these events and the information he'd received about Matt's condition circling his brain. But the more he reviews them, the more he finds himself not thinking about them.

This would be because only one thought takes over his mind:

_Wake up, Matt... Please..._

_(A/N: Hello again! So, I hafta apologize for the chopiness of this chapter. It was written between physics class, and my random bursts of free time at home. But I promise the next chapter will be better~ C: and thank you to everyone who reviews and like favorites and alerts and all that! It's always such an awesome moment when I open my email and I see "so-and-so reviewed your story" or whatever it may be. It's just... Awesome ; w; So thanks again and I will be sure to update! If you reviewwwwwww and such. e w e _

_PS: I know I mentioned info about Matt's "condition." No, that hasn't been revealed yet, so don't ask about it XD I'll include it next chapter ;3)_


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